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As I said, it’s a tricky task.</p> <p>I’ve titled the theme this month “<em>Behind Closed Doors: Exposing the Truth Behind Sex, Love, and Dating</em>.”<br /> Ultimately I believe that we have hidden this whole topic in our churches, in our own relationships, from God… For whatever reason they’ve been hidden, these things really need to be exposed, brought to light, made visible, and actually talked about with one another. So I’m going to preface by saying that I hope to <strong>open up a conversation </strong>this month more than anything else. A conversation between parent and teen, between God and us, between me and you.<em><a href="http://springvalestudents.org/benbartosik/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/Bible.jpg" rel="lightbox[243]"><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-251" title="Bible" src="http://springvalestudents.org/benbartosik/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/Bible.jpg" alt="Bible" width="148" height="147" /></a></em></p> <p>But first, I have a problem. Answering the question, <em>what does the bible say about dating?</em></p> <p>The bible gives us principles for marriage and principles for non-marriage. Where does our current concept of dating fall within those two categories? (I’ll let you answer that)</p> <p>In order to first approach this topic, I turn to where I always turn when I want to know what God wants for our lives… Perfection. The life that we were created to live. In Genesis 2:25 God gives us the perfect description of what he wants for a ‘romantic’ human relationship. “And the man and his wife were both <strong>naked and unashamed</strong>.” Ummmm…. what?<a href="http://springvalestudents.org/benbartosik/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/adamandeve.jpg" rel="lightbox[243]"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-252" title="adamandeve" src="http://springvalestudents.org/benbartosik/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/adamandeve.jpg" alt="adamandeve" width="246" height="182" /></a><br /> Naked and unashamed. (Don’t freak out, I’m not telling your students to join a nudist colony).<br /> But what we’ve got here is God’s intended purpose in human relationship. Exposed and without shame.</p> <p>Compare this for a minute with God’s description of perfect Love in 1st John 4 (v.18). In God’s perfect definition of love, which is what the perfect standard for human relationship should strive for, there is no fear. No fear of judgement. No fear of loss. No fear that he will leave her for a younger, more attractive woman. No fear that she will compare him to another. No fear that he will grow bored with their relationship. No fear she will become unattractive to him. No fear that he will become stuck in a relationship he doesn’t want to be in. <strong>No fear</strong>. And<strong> no shame</strong>. Completely exposed before each other and God.</p> <p>And this is the kind of relationship that we were created for. Love, commitment, intimacy, connection, and with God right smack in the middle of it all. Sound scary? But doesn’t it also sound sort of amazing?</p> <p>So my question is <em>why would we settle for anything less than that?</em></p> <p>But then, of course, comes Sin. And it disconnects us from God and from each other.<br /> First thing Adam and Eve do after sinning? They hide. They’ve discovered shame, and fear, and disconnect. That perfect ideal has been broken and we’ve traded it for far, far less… Human relationships since have become soiled in shame, fear, jealousy, anxiety, bitterness, lust, boredom, and disconnect. No where close to that perfect relationship of love that is described between Adam and Eve in perfection.</p> <p>But back to dating…<a href="http://springvalestudents.org/benbartosik/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/7151-18med.jpg" rel="lightbox[243]"><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-253" title="7151-18med" src="http://springvalestudents.org/benbartosik/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/7151-18med.jpg" alt="7151-18med" width="177" height="261" /></a><br /> How does all of that apply to today? How does it fit?</p> <p>Well, where we are today is about where we left off after sin and shame entered human relationships. Sex, love, marriage, and dating have all become disconnected from one another. One no longer has to do with the others. We’ve become disconnected from each other and God in the process and basically everything within these topics has been locked behind closed doors and it’s nobody’s business but our own what is going on behind them.</p> <p>This month, my hope is to open up those doors. To open up a dialogue. To shed some light on this whole topic and figure out what the heck we can do about it and what God wants from us (which, spoiler alert, is going to be that perfect relationship he created us for).</p> <p>Thanks,</p> <script type="text/javascript">tweetcount_url='http://benbartosik.com/?p=243';tweetcount_title='Behind Closed Doors ';tweetcount_cnt=0;tweetcount_src='RT @benbartosik blogged';tweetcount_via=false;</script><div style="float:left;margin-right:10px;"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://widgets.backtype.com/tweetcount.js"></script></div><a href="http://www.google.com/reader/link?url=http://benbartosik.com/?p=243&title=Behind Closed Doors &srcTitle=benbartosik DOT com&srcURL=http://springvalestudents.org/benbartosik"target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://springvalestudents.org/benbartosik/wp-content/plugins/wp-google-buzz/icon/small_horiz.png" style="opacity:1;filter:alpha(opacity=100)" onmouseover="this.style.opacity=0.7;this.filters.alpha.opacity=70" onmouseout="this.style.opacity=1;this.filters.alpha.opacity=100"/> </a> </div>  <h3 id="respond" class="post">Leave a Reply</h3> <form action="http://springvalestudents.org/benbartosik/wp-comments-post.php" method="post" id="commentform"> <p><input type="text" name="author" id="author" value="" size="22" tabindex="1" class="text" /> <label for="author"><small>Name (required)</small></label></p> <p><input type="text" name="email" id="email" value="" size="22" tabindex="2" class="text" /> <label for="email"><small>Mail (will not be published) (required)</small></label></p> <p><input type="text" name="url" id="url" value="" size="22" tabindex="3" class="text" /> <label for="url"><small>Website</small></label></p>  <p><textarea name="comment" id="comment" cols="100%" rows="10" tabindex="4" class="text textarea"></textarea></p> <p><input name="submit" type="submit" id="submit" tabindex="5" value="Submit" class="btn submit btn-teal" /> <input type="hidden" name="comment_post_ID" value="243" /> </p> </form> </div> </div> <div id="right-col"> <div id="logo"> <h1>Ministry Commentary with a Hint of Professionalism</h1> </div> <ul id="right-content"> <li id="text-2" class="widget widget_text"> <div class="textwidget"><a href="http://twitter.com/benbartosik"> <img src=" http://springvalestudents.org/Benbartosik/tweet.png" alt="http://twitter.com/benbartosik"></img></a> <script src="http://widgets.twimg.com/j/2/widget.js"></script> <script> new TWTR.Widget({ version: 2, type: 'profile', rpp: 1, interval: 6000, width: 250, height: 300, theme: { shell: { background: '#333333', color: '#ffffff' }, tweets: { background: '#000000', color: '#ffffff', links: '#4aed05' } }, features: { scrollbar: false, loop: false, live: false, hashtags: true, timestamp: true, avatars: false, behavior: 'all' } }).render().setUser('benbartosik').start(); </script></div> </li><li id="text-4" class="widget widget_text"> <div class="textwidget"><a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=Benbartosik-dot-com&loc=en_US"> <img src=" http://springvalestudents.org/Benbartosik/email.png" alt="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=Benbartosik-dot-com&loc=en_US"></img></a></div> </li><li id="tag_cloud-2" class="widget widget_tag_cloud"><h5 class="widgettitle">Article Tags:</h5><div><a href='http://benbartosik.com/?tag=culture' class='tag-link-50' title='3 topics' style='font-size: 10.545454545455pt;'>Culture</a> <a href='http://benbartosik.com/?tag=design' class='tag-link-49' title='2 topics' style='font-size: 9.2727272727273pt;'>Design</a> <a href='http://benbartosik.com/?tag=ministry-thoughts' class='tag-link-47' title='12 topics' style='font-size: 22pt;'>Ministry Thoughts</a> <a href='http://benbartosik.com/?tag=random-thoughts' class='tag-link-52' title='3 topics' style='font-size: 10.545454545455pt;'>Random Thoughts</a> <a href='http://benbartosik.com/?tag=social-media' class='tag-link-45' title='1 topic' style='font-size: 8pt;'>Social Media</a> <a href='http://benbartosik.com/?tag=sr-high-updates' class='tag-link-54' title='1 topic' style='font-size: 8pt;'>Sr. High Updates</a> <a href='http://benbartosik.com/?tag=thursday-talks' class='tag-link-48' title='10 topics' style='font-size: 19.454545454545pt;'>Thursday Talks</a></div> </li> </ul> </ul> <br /><br /><br /> </div> </div></div> <div id="footer" class="clearfix"> <div> <ul class="footer-pages clearfix"> <li class="first"><a href="http://benbartosik.com" title="benbartosik DOT com Home">Home</a></li> <li class="page_item page-item-183"><a href="http://benbartosik.com/?page_id=183" title="About the Author">About the Author</a></li> </ul> <br><p><big><strong>© Copyright benbartosik DOT com. 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