“Sex is the most common behaviour among humans after birth, breathing, sleeping, and death, and too often we still feel shame or bite our tongues when it comes up [in conversation].” (Brown, Pleasure Activism)

I grew up in a context where sex was primarily talked about in one way: wait until marriage. Outside of that, there was no real engagement with it. My parents certainly didn't know how to have the conversation with me; I often joke about how my first (and only) sex talk with my dad happened after I was married. Within the church, it was framed in this hyper-focused yet taboo way that left everyone thinking about it but with no real honesty. There was abstinence commitments, confession, shame, nervous jokes—and that's about it. It's been wild watching many adults I know (including myself) struggle to understand what a healthy conversation about sex really is in the aftermath of leaving or disentangling their upbringing in some way. Now many of us are parents ourselves and trying to figure out how to course correct but without really having done the work of healing our own shame and trauma around it.

Until we can figure out how to talk about honestly and healthily, it's hard to imagine any real change taking place. I'm grateful for challenging books like this that push me outside of my comfort zone and help me begin to do some self-reflection.