March 15, 2026
Back into reading Soelle's memoir after a month off. I took a family trip and that involved some travel anxieties leading up to it and then recovering from some illness after it. Regardless, this sort of reading took a bit of a pause.
This morning I was reading Soelle's reflection on her feminism and really enjoyed this part:
"Perhaps my image of a happy life is less individualistic than that of many young women. I think that we need a certain kind of dependence in order to live, but not total emotional and economic dependence, the inability to organize our lives ourselves. There is a dependence that grows inside freedom: I could live by myself, but I want to life with you, enter into mutuality. The concept of dependence is often devalued in the woman’s movement; in whatever case, it is seen as deadly, as destructive of human beings. I find this wrong; I believe that mutual dependence is part of being human. Concretely, it means that I am sexually, spiritually, and emotionally dependent on others. I need conversation, challenge, critique, affection, understanding, and help in managing everyday life. I want to share my experiences with someone; I wish to give and to receive comfort."
One of the values of our age is the supremacy of the individual. This is a path we have been on for a long while now and you can feel its consequences in every area of society. Something I am particularly interested in is the way technology† has propelled this value to new extremes. Each new era brings with it technical advancements that further prioritizes the autonomy of the individual and weakens our communal bonds.
Today, the digital has ripped apart the previous era's clean separation of both the private and public realms. Each has crossed into the other in ways that we have yet to fully grapple with. The private has become commodified and made public for mass consumption while the public realm has become a space primarily dedicated to the protection of private interest.
I think what I like about what Soelle is writing here is that it represents a value that cuts against this entire trajectory that we have all just accepted. It feels somewhat jarring to advocate for mutual dependence in a time when all those things she mentions—one's sexual, spiritual, and emotional life—have been wholly defined by individual desire. The radical statement, to suggest that human beings need one another, is the antithesis of the technological pursuit.
But it is a pursuit that seeks to make us less human and more machine.