I've been reflecting lately about growth and change in a professional sense and how a career trajectory evolves over time. It's probably a byproduct of approaching 40. Looking back, many of the major roles I've taken in my career so far have been a response rather than a typical applying for a job sort of scenario. They often began with people I know reaching out and saying, "I think you'd be a good fit for this"—and they were usually right. It has also left me with a bit of strange looking path, taking a few seemingly random turns along the way. And if you don't know the context for how those opportunities came about, it can seem like certain steps don't make much sense or even what the big picture actually is.

The other day, I was reading a recent interview with one of my favourite vocalists, Julian Casablancas (The Strokes, the Voidz), in which he commented that keeping the Strokes together made sense only for financial reasons, but it was leaving him unfulfilled creatively.

“There’s a beautiful Miles Davis quote: ‘The real risk is not changing.’ That’s why I always want to feel like I’m searching for something unexplored. If I make money, that’s fine, but I don’t want to stay still. I’m not looking for security or the status quo. If someone wants to keep creating, they have to be ready for change. Even if it means the death of something they held dear.”

As I've already admitted, I'm a big fan of his and have been since Last Night easily became one of the most recognizable songs of the early 00s. And, while I don't love everything he's ever done, I have a certain fondness for his impulsive, self-indulgent eccentricities, despite how messy they can become. But I think that's part of what I like. He's honest in his art, even when it sucks.

Which brings me back to my own messy career. I went from running programs for youth to marketing and comms. From nonprofit to for-profit and back to nonprofit again. I went from coordinator to director to manager. And I have a decade of experience in the church + a Mdiv in church leadership and theology to now working entirely outside of that space. It adds up to a pretty bizarre resume.

This is where I find a certain resonance with Casablancas. From a coherent, linear career progression, my path doesn't always make a lot of sense. If anything, it can come across like a series of missteps or start-overs. But underneath all of these shifts and turns was a never-ending battle between playing-it-safe and staying true to my ideals. The roles I've chosen have had less to do with building a career and more to do with feeling like I can make a meaningful difference in some way. And I've left them when it began to feel like I was unable to be true to myself. I know what it is to take a role and reinvent it several times over, pushing it to the boundaries of what's possible. And I know what it is to find that the people you work with aren't always ready to take that journey with you.

Maybe a resume doesn't have to be seen only as a progression. Maybe there's a way to think of it like a playlist on shuffle. Each contribution is its own unique piece of growth and learning that plays with what comes before and after. And it's our willingness to keep exploring and keep evolving that allows us to add the next unique piece. Sometimes that's found within pushing the boundaries of our current project, and sometimes that means stepping out and trying something entirely new.